In many of life’s pursuits, there are often tell-tale signs along the way that you’re getting older. For example, that radio station you used to love listening to in your teens no longer does it for you. Certain drinks you used to enjoy no longer agree with you. Or you discover your favourite bands that you grew up with are now referred to as vintage or classic rock. Or that 5km jog you used to do in 25 minutes now takes you 40 minutes to complete. You get the idea.
Whisky is another such medium that delivers the not-so-subtle message to you that – just like a perfectly balanced Glenfarclas – you’ve been maturing for quite a few years now. Whilst the whisky industry seems to be hurtling you down a steep path towards a No Age Statement retirement, there are…particularly if you’re older than 40 and have been drinking whisky since the 1990’s…plenty of signs that you, personally, are carrying an age statement.
In the many whisky events I host, present, or pour at, I invariably find myself in front of an increasingly younger audience. But is the audience getting younger, or am I just getting older? The spin doctor in me wants to think of it in different terms: “No, you’re not older than the current crop of whisky drinkers, you’ve just been drinking it for longer!” That argument actually has some merit, because having been well-engrossed in the act of single malt appreciation now for over twenty years, there are definitely some signs and experiences that seemingly put me out of step with the current generation of whisky folks. So what are eight signs you’re getting older as a whisky drinker…
1. You pour yourself a whisky. It doesn’t occur to you to Instagram it.
2. You’re enjoying whisky with a bunch of folks and quote something clever from The Young Ones. No one knows what you’re talking about.
3. You remember being able to afford a Macallan 18yo.
4. You have the following conversation:
Newbie: “I tried the new Singleton release the other day.”
You: “Oh….is Auchroisk back on the market again?”
Newbie: “No, it was the Glen Ord one.”
You: “What???”
5. You follow it up with this conversation:
You: “I opened my last bottle of Macallan Amber”
Newbie: “I prefer Sienna myself.”
You: “No, I meant the pecan-flavoured liqueur.”
Newbie: “What???”
6. You remember when a whisky cocktail meant whisky and coke.
7. When you started drinking whisky, Jim McEwan worked for Bowmore; Ardbeg was a closed distillery; and if you pronounced Islay “Izz-lay”, you didn’t get lynched.
8. You used to be able to say, “Michael Jackson really touched me” and everyone around you would understand exactly what you meant and agree with you.
Cheers,
AD
PS….let’s not forget the obvious one: Your hangovers last longer than they ever used to!
PPS…if you actually got half the references above and you want to read some more funny things about whisky, you might also enjoy this article:
The 1980’s Heavy Metal Guide to Single Malt Whisky
PPPS…and if you liked those, you’ll LOVE this:
The Top 10 ways to annoy a whisky nerd
Got some thoughts to share or a comment to add? Scroll further down to the Comments section at the bottom…
Was no.5 from me this morning? Sounds like it 😉
Also, your PS is the one that hurts the most. Gone are the university days of endless beers then sharing a bottle of Laphroaig and still getting to that 8am lecture feeling just fine. Now it’s two beers on a Friday night followed by a couple of drams and you might be OK for Monday.
That last point really touched me. Sincerely.