The 1980’s heavy metal music guide to whisky

Whisky and heavy metal?  The late whisky writer, Michael Jackson, once compared a particular single malt to a car (e.g. “the Rolls-Royce of whisky”).  Others have since compared certain single malts to particular Grand Cru wines.   More recently, people have started writing tasting notes for whiskies and suggested various songs or bands to match and pair with the whisky.  So, whisky and music is now a thing, right?  Okay then, let’s take it one step further…

No one likes to admit it, but there was once a time when heavy metal music was actually commercially successful, and major record labels were falling over themselves trying to sign up hard rock acts.  The genre is lampooned today, and often labelled dismissively as hair metal or glam metal.  But, like me, you might be from that era when heavy metal artists were actually on top of all the charts and hair metal bands ruled the airwaves.  But has anyone ever compared whisky and heavy metal artists? Or matched the two together?  Perhaps now is the time.  Get out the hair gel, put on your spandex, and take yourself back to the 1980’s… 

Lagavulin – Definitely Bon Jovi.  Big, loud, & boisterous in their day, they’ve both mellowed recently and re-shaped themselves in the form of adult-orientated entertainment.

Littlemill – Lots of options here, but we’re nominating Randy Rhoads:  They’re both talented.  And enigmatic.  And dead.

Loch Dhu – Kix.  A true one-hit wonder.  Most people haven’t tasted the whisky (which is actually a blessing), and we’ll bet most people don’t remember Kix’s one release in 1989 either?

Macallan – Has to be Mötley Crüe.  Because everyone says, “I used to like them back when they were good”.  Ouch.
(Of course, on the other side of the coin, at least everyone can afford a Mötley Crüe album that’s 30 years old!)

Mackmyra – Europe.  Who else?  (And if you don’t get this, do some googling).

Ardbeg – This one’s easy:  Alice Cooper. Used to shock people in the 1970’s, disappeared into obscurity in the 1980’s, made a big comeback in the 1990’s, and today is going stronger than ever.  Also, you can’t ignore both have tremendous talent and a great sense of humour! And if Ardbeg could play a sport, it would probably be golf, too.

Cardhu – Pure Metal.  Yeah.  That’s right.  We went there.

Auchroisk – Ugly Kid Joe.  Seriously, have you seen the distillery?

Brora – Guns’n’Roses.  Because everyone would love to see the original line-up come out of retirement.  And it’s actually happened!

Glendronach – Van Halen.  Because devotees are split and argue over which is the better version?

Brechin – Nelson.  Because you probably haven’t heard of either of them.

Glenfarclas – We’ll nominate Aerosmith.  No, not the first cab off the rank – there were others before them, and there have been others since.  But they’re both still going strong; it’s still the same line-up (or family) and they’re both still putting out the hits.

Jura – Rose Tattoo.  Because they’d both be more popular if they’d just come from another island.

Glenfiddich – Led Zeppelin.  Of course, you’ve already picked that Led Zeppelin weren’t 1980’s.  But, just like Glenfiddich, they did something different in the 1960’s, and everyone’s been trying to emulate them since!

Port Ellen – Steel Panther.  The old is new and the new is old. Can they re-live the glory days? 

Ladyburn – Frehley’s Comet.  Just because you were associated with another big-name act, doesn’t mean you’ll be successful on your own!

Glenmorangie – Stryper. Because guys with good beliefs, good intentions, and good pedigree can rock as hard and as loud as the rest of them.

Bowmore – Poison.  You might not like everything they put out, but you can’t deny you enjoyed one or two of their hits!  Besides, every rose has its thorn, right?

Octomore – Metallica.  Because some just do it louder, faster, and heavier than anyone else.

Glengoyne – Def Leppard. Silky, refined, and polished; the hits stand the test of time.

Springbank – Faith No More.  Because no one really knows what to make of them.

Counterfeit Macallans – Milli Vanilli.  Bit of a stretch, but please indulge us. 

Rosebank – ACDC.  Are they coming back to life or not? Anyone know?

Glen Ord – Warrant. Because you can put out a great, serious album but it only takes one cheesy single(ton) and you’ve lost your cred.

The Scotch Malt Whisky Society – Who else but Kiss.  “You wanted the best?  You got the best!!”

Cheers,
AD

 

Got any more you’d like to suggest?  Leave a comment so we can all enjoy it!

PS: You might also like our article where we match a whisky to each of the James Bond films.

PPS… this article was originally published in 2015.  Re-reading it in 2023, it was surprising how many of the original references were no longer valid (i.e. distilleries such as Port Ellen and Brora were extinct in 2015….and yet they’re now being brought back from the dead. And a few bands that were still playing live in 2015 have finally disbanded or had members die.  So we updated a few of the whisky and heavy metal matches to keep things current.